


Home Truths

by pornell_fangirl



Series: A Place In Time [10]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 06:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pornell_fangirl/pseuds/pornell_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy receives a late night visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Truths

Sitting alone in the near dark of his tiny living room, the only light coming from a few candles he'd lit and the glow from his laptop screen, currently displaying and lowly playing a soft jazz station, Jimmy Palmer sipped on the tumbler of Glenfiddich from the bottle Dr Mallard had brought him back from his last trip to visit his remaining family in Scotland.

He'd just started in on his third drink of the night, thinking back on the circle of hell that the day had been. By the end of it, he had seriously considered handing in his resignation.

Today wasn't the first time since the break-up that NCIS and the FBI had worked closely on a case, not even the first time Toby, and damn if even the thought of the man didn't nearly bring him to tears, had worked with them. But this was the first time he'd spent so long at the Navy Yard.

They must have passed in the corridors at least a dozen times during the course of the day and every tiny little glance in his direction had burned his soul just a little more.

It had been a little over a year now since they'd gone their separate ways. A year in which Jimmy had thrown himself into a new relationship, if he could call it that and in which he'd dove head first into his work. Anything to try and fill that hole in his heart left by the older man. He'd given up counting the nights he'd sat here in the dark doing just this. Rehashing that last night together.

If only he hadn't taken it quite so much to heart that Toby hadn't introduced him to Emily or his friends. If only that hadn't been the day that his lover's little girl had been threatened, when Jimmy's nerves were already frayed so close to the edge. If only that hadn't been the day that Tony had so desperately needed a friend to talk to. If only he hadn't met that sweet girl, Breena at the bar that night, although he was sure he'd never regret her friendship. She'd become a rock to him over the year. If only Gibbs hadn't come back. Or left at all... although he realised that thought was selfish even as he thought it. If only, if only, if only. But as his Grandma used to say, 'I wishes were horses.'

He was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't hear the knocking at his door until it became quite persistent. Stumbling over, still revelently sober considering his usual tolerance for alcohol but weary down to his bones, he opened the door but could do little more than stand there un shock, staring at his unexpected visitor.

Gibbs stood there patiently -for him- for a whole minute as Jimmy stared at him. Eventually he realised the younger man wasn't going to speak or move, so the first step had to be his.

"Hey, Palmer. You gonna let me in or are we gonna stand here all night?"

Jimmy blinked owlishly behind his glasses while his brain pulled itself out of it's stupor, stepping aside and gesturing for the older man to come in.

Following him into the living room, he watched in silence as Gibbs made himself comfortable on his couch and picked up the whisky bottle, peering at the label in the dim light.

Clicking on a couple of floor lamps, Jimmy finally found his voice.

"Would you like a glass?"

When Gibbs nodded the affirmative, he took a tumbler from the cabinet by his tv. Filling the crystal and handing it to his visitor, he took a seat in his overstuffed armchair.

"What can I do for you, Agent Gibbs?"

Blue eyes regarded him over the rim of a glass.

"I need your help." he eventually answered. It was stated matter of fact, no hint of excuse or apology in his tone.

Jimmy couldn't help the way his eyes narrowed suspiciously. It had been over 18 months since the two men had had anything close to a real conversation, even longer since Gibbs had been in his home. But looking deeply at his face, he could see no sign of anything but honesty.

"Ok," he replied slowly, "What can I help you with, Agent Gibbs?"

The formality of the way Palmer was addressing him wasn't lost on Gibbs and he couldn't help the wince he didn't want to feel crossing his face.

Sighing he put his glass down on the table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

"My memory... those last few years before the explosion... I do a good job of pretending, Jimmy but between you and me.... there's still gaps there and I think you can help me with those."

The younger man couldn't help but be surprised at the naked vulnerability seeping through every pore of the silver haired man. But he couldn't deny his confusion.

"Why me?" he eventually asked.

Gibbs' eyes darted around the room that at once seemed so familiar and yet so foreign to him.

"We were starting to be friends, weren't we?" he answered the question with a question. "You'd started calling me Jethro. Here and at my place and at... at Tobias'. I remember that. Only snippets of it, I don't always get the full picture but I remember that."

Jimmy nodded slowly. Valiantly keeping the memories of those times from bringing tears to his eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah we were. You're Toby's best friend. We spent a lot of time together. We became quite close."

Surprising himself, he carried on. For some reason he just knew that Gibbs needed nothing but honesty from him.

"After you came back, you didn't remember that so I gave you your space. Then Toby and I... well I'm sure you know what happened there, and you carried on treating me the way you used to... before. So I let you. I figured you needed to or something. And even if you didn't, being around you hurts. I'll be honest. It reminds me of those days when things were good. That's why I never said anything."

To his credit, Gibbs picked up his drink and sipped at it for a few minutes, mulling over everything Jimmy had said. When he finally spoke, his tone was measured and his voice steadier than his face belied.

"I'd like our friendship back, Jimmy. If you think we can. I have to tell you, firstly, I've told Tobias I think he's an idiot. But I promised him I'd stop pestering him about it."

Sharing a conspiratorially smile with the younger man, he winked.

"Doesn't mean Emily's gonna give up so easily though."

Jimmy's heart skipped a beat.

"Emily? Emily Fornell? What exactly does she know?"

Gibbs' smile turned a little sad. His memory might not be great but he knew what he was about to tell the younger man would hurt him. Still, if he was going to attempt to rebuild this tentative friendship, he knew that the honesty would have to go both ways.

"She's known nearly all along, Jimmy. She found a photograph I took of the two of you and after the break-up, she noticed Tobias has been miserable. She's kinda smart for her age."

The dull ache that had receded into the pit of Jimmy's stomach returned almost tenfold with this piece of information. The reason the relationship had broken down in the first place had been a moot point after all. Of course he wasn't so stupid as to think the Emily issue had been the entire cause of the relationship ending but it had been the straw that had broken the camel's back.

Gibbs reached out and without waiting for permission, refilled both their glasses. He hadn't wanted to hurt or upset the younger man but he knew what had been the trouble in the end and he at least hoped to give the younger man something to think about. After a few minutes had passed, he brought Jimmy out of his thoughts.

"Look, Jimmy.... The other thing I wanted to talk about... This is kinda embarrassing.... Before the explosion, I think I was becoming involved with someone. But I cant trust my brain's not playing tricks on me. I would've asked Tobias, but he's up to his neck in work right now. Hasn't been home in days. And I would've asked DiNozzo but.... and please, God, I could be so wrong about this.... it was him, wasn't it? DiNozzo. Tony. There was something there. I'm nit imagining it or remembering it wrong, am I?"

Lifting his glasses and running a hand over his face, Jimmy stretched out and relaxed, ready to tell Gibbs all he needed to know. Whether he wanted to hear it or not.


End file.
